A spirit of give and take is necessary to make any relationship work. This is especially important in the case of husband and wife. Our scriptures show us this in many ways, explained K. Sambandan, in a discourse. Manickavachagar, in his Tiruvachagam, says that Parvati, that lovely daughter of the King Parvata, married Lord Siva. He married Her with fire as the witness, and the whole world became aware of the marriage. In the present day world, the importance of marrying with witnesses to the marriage is emphasised. And the need for a marriage to be made widely known is shown through the marriage of the Lord with Parvati.
A husband and his wife must not make much of the differences which they have with each other. The Lord Himself did not always see eye to eye with the Goddess, but differences were resolved to mutual satisfaction. In fact, this quarrel between the Lord and His Consort is celebrated as a festival in the Thiruvannamalai temple, in Tamil Nadu!
To lose an argument with a spouse is not a matter for shame. Sivaprakasar, in a song says that when Siva and Parvati fought with each other, Siva went to great lengths to pacify Her. He fell at Parvati’s feet, goes the song! This is a song written in a lighter vein, but the essence of the matter is that there are no losers or winners in a marital fight, for both husband and wife are equal partners. Intolerance in any case is an undesirable trait. There is a verse in the Kamba Ramayanam, where the demon Hiranyakasipu declares that he has never bowed to anyone, and that even if he quarrelled with a sweetheart.
