Most ordinary folks have a dream; many have a passion; but it is only a few who manage to navigate the rocky road of converting a dream or passion into reality. Without any kind of preachy management or leadership jargon, let me try and reach out to those of you who have a passion or dream; to those who are not from privileged, entitled or connected backgrounds that makes it relatively easier to realise dreams; or even those who have rare talent from underprivileged backgrounds. Yes! I am talking about the average person who has that reservoir of untapped talent and ideas that lies trapped in a cocoon of mundane predictability, success and achievement.
I grew up with a deep and abiding interest in military history; Arjuna, Abhimanyu, Achilles, Alexander and King Arthur and his knights, the five A’s were my favourite warriors. The Mahabharata , Ramayana , Illiad and TheOdyssey were my favourite epics. My father was an academic who travelled widely on sabbaticals and came back with stories in the 1970s and 1980s of how the world was progressing. He spent a year in Kiel, Germany; a year at Northwestern University in Chicago as a Fulbright Professor, and had short academic sojourns in the U.K., Australia and Japan. By all pointers and familial inclination, I guess I was headed towards academia. Fate, however, steered me towards an exciting and fulfilling career as a fighter pilot in the IAF and I immersed myself in honing my skills for the next 23 years. In the following decade, the IAF invested heavily in training me to be a leader and I responded well. Looking back, I think I was on the right trajectory to reach milestones that every officer aspired for. Making two-star at 50 was heady, however, somewhere deep in the recess of my brain was a lingering desire to tread the academic path that had started sowing seeds of discontentment from the time I was a Group Captain.
Diametric shift
Alarmed at this unexpected turn of events and dreading the prospect of being thrust into an unknown future, particularly with two young daughters not yet into their teens, my wife suggested that I somehow enrol for a PhD and ask for a posting to an institution of Professional Military Education. This, she hoped, would whet my desire for academic pursuit and keep me on track in a mainstream career, which it did for the next five years. I enjoyed teaching and research at the Defence Services Staff College; wrote extensively on matters related to flight safety, air power and strategy, finished my PhD and wrote my first book. By any yardstick that should have satisfied me, but it did not because I wanted to push myself further; I wanted to explore and write about contemporary Indian military history and to benchmark my skills at an institution of international repute like Harvard or Oxford.
Till now the IAF had been supportive and even indulgent towards my academic pursuit, but there came a time when it wanted me to take a call and choose between upward mobility and continued academic pursuit. I argued for long that I was confident of doing both as a senior leader; that I could contribute immensely in the development of intellectual capital within the armed forces which I argued was the weakest link. I also argued that strengthening this aspect was essential if the armed forces were to emerge as an effective tool of statecraft. I failed in my attempt to do so and consequently stumbled in the climb up the pyramid.
However, there was one thing that I did right during this period of uncertainty and even despair. I picked up the threads of military history, searched for vacant space within our contemporary historical discourse, stumbled on a few ideas and started converting those ideas into a product that would have widespread appeal. By this time, it was time to take a call whether I would continue within my comfort zone as a two-star officer for two more years till retirement, or take the plunge into the unknown and often cut-throat world of writing, publishing and academia. I told many later that for me it was like jumping off the ten-metre board at the NDA swimming pool. This is a mandatory test and a moment of agony for those who did not know how to swim, or were afraid of heights. Even for those who knew how to swim, the leap of the board was a moment of reckoning. The icing on the cake, however, is what transpires after the few seconds are over – ‘Arre Yaar, it was nothing to have been scared about,’ was what many said as we jauntily walked to register our accomplishment. Our experience as family was exactly that and as a group, there has been little regret as I continue writing, living a frugal life of an academic gypsy and yet-to-settle-down-academic, but enjoying the freedom and the fulfilment of a small dream to spend some time at Harvard and Oxford and share perspectives on a critical tool of Indian statecraft — its military.
Benefactors
No dream or passion can be realised without mentors and benefactors — those who see value in you dream and motivate you to take the path less trodden. It could be a senior leader within your own organisation who indirectly enables your quest; or an external mentor or benefactors who motivate you or help you with opportunities or modest financial assistance to tide over the initial years of change. Being grateful is essential if you want to play a good second innings!
So! To wrap-up my little tale. Hold on to your passion; keep it alive through periods of vocational, professional and family necessities; ride out the troughs and the storms and like a good surfer, look out for the big waves to ride and seize your opportunity. You may not succeed the first time, but never ever give up.
Arjun Subramaniam is a recently retired Air Vice Marshal of the Indian Air Force and is currently a Visiting Fellow at Oxford University. He is also the author of ‘India’s Wars: A Military History 1947-1971.
Published - June 10, 2018 05:00 pm IST
