Name, place, letter-writer

And bloody fool what he has put on one form? Bathroomootham

Respected Madam/Sir,

Two-three days back suddenly one question is coming to the brain like anything. It is coming into brain as if Chinese army and refusing to go. I tried all techniques to make idea go. I read one novel. I saw one DVD. I even put one evening of rummy with Mrs. Mathrubootham.

Whether idea is going out of the head? Never. Finally, I told Mrs. Mathrubootham, Kamalam one idea is coming in the head and it is not going only. What to do?

She said, old man go to the kitchen and take two-three plate and hit them like anything. If Corona can go means idea can also go. I said, Kamalam, this is a serious matter.

She said first of all, is it some adults-only idea? Because then you please discuss privately and don’t put in newspaper letter and all. Last week only my cousin Katherine from Jamshedpur called and asked whether our Mathrubootham is world-famous Hindu Letter Writer Mathrubootham. Immediately I denied like anything. Whole world is reading your letter. Please don’t cut my nose with matter-type letters.

I said, no no no Kamalam, thousand times no. What nonsense you are talking. Whether I am sitting whole day and thinking matter items only?

She looked at me. Then she looked at my phone. Then she looked at me. I looked out of the window. Suddenly one beautiful scenery is there, and it is there until Mrs. Mathrubootham is leaving the room.

Madam/ Sir, shall I tell you the idea? How many years I have been Mr. J. Mathrubootham? Whole life I am Mathrubootham only. School Mathrubootham. College Mathrubootham. Office Mathrubootham. Whole life I am Mathrubootham.

Whether it is boring like anything or no?

Well, for two-three months in college one comedy took place. My uncle from Palakkad, who is no more, is doing all my forms and all for college admission. And bloody fool what he has put on one form? Bathroomootham.

Madam/ Sir, you just imagine life of young man in college. Everyday during attendance professor is saying where is Bathroomootham? For two-three months torture like anything. Then I put 25,000 forms and begging and crying and falling at feet and finally college is changing name to correct spelling. But my cricket team football is still saying Bathroomootham for one year. Too much humiliation.

But same name for whole time is little boring? You agree no? Ok then tell me should I change name or no? What is there? No tension. Some two-three forms and newspaper ad and maybe I can have some good action name.

J. Macpherson? Ok, maybe sounds like British villain in freedom struggle movie.

How about J.R. Rahman? People will think I am brother and give VIP treatment? Maybe entire Indian police will harass nonstop.

Maybe some underworld don type name? Kattabomman? Madam/ Sir, just imagine when people are asking sir, what is your name and I say Kattabomman. Yappa!

I took one list of names to Mrs. Mathrubootham and said Kamalam, I am thinking of changing my name to something new and exciting. Any thoughts? She looked at me and said many thoughts are coming but cannot be said. Old man, name is like gas cylinder or what? You are changing every few weeks? What nonsense are you talking? Please don’t waste my time.

Best name is Kattabomman. It is giving thrilling hero feel. I like it. Madam/ Sir, today itself I am going to Google to see procedure for name change. Any suggestions from your end? If you say Kasturi and all, then it is useless.

Yours in nomenclature innovation,

Kattabomman