Assessing ‘Women Cost’

Is there a word that completely embraces all that women forgo

Published - February 18, 2024 02:48 am IST

Multitasking can take a toll on women, who have to perform many roles.

Multitasking can take a toll on women, who have to perform many roles. | Photo Credit: Getty Images

I was recently reading a book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport and came across this word ‘human cost’. I knew its meaning. But I suddenly realised that the term ‘human cost’ encompasses so much. In any activity, economic or not, we always seem to consider the human cost of our decisions. A simple word with such immense meaning and application.

Just before these train of thoughts began, two things had happened. One, I had just finished another book, Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh: India’s Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence by Shrayana Bhattacharya, which was recommended for my PhD course work. The book is all about the social and economic stand of women in India and somehow this author has researched it and narrated it from the standpoint of Shah Rukh Khan fans. It’s amazing how the issue of money and freedom is so well written from this perspective. And even more amazing is how we women go through the injustice and unfairness of it all like it’s the only acceptable way. I still had the hangover of this book when I received a call from the manager of an exclusive brand outlet, where I am a partner. It was the birthday of one of the sales girls and I had asked the manager to get a cake and celebrate her birthday with the rest of my small sales team (Do you know many never celebrate their birthdays or no one ever celebrates it for them?) And my request was happily executed. But 10 minutes into the cake cutting, the birthday girl’s husband storms into the store and takes her away. Apparently he was upset that she was celebrated for 10 minutes. She has not come back to the store since.

Now coming back to the word ‘human cost’. Though I knew the meaning of the word, I still googled it. And the results covered a wide array of topics. There are studies in the human cost of diseases, human cost of global warming, human cost of disasters, human cost of sugar, Assam tea etc. It is good that we assess every action, decision and outcome in terms of human cost. And I started wondering if we have any word that completely embraces all that we women forego or go through in society just because we are women. We face discrimination at home, work and public spaces. We give up on many dreams and opportunities so that the fragile system we live in functions with little disturbance. We always put our parents, siblings, in-laws, husband, kids, house, garden, dog, etc before ourselves. We let many career growth prospects pass. We don’t know to be free or take decisions freely.

Caught up in these thoughts, I wondered what the word “women cost” means. And I diligently did what I always do. I asked Google again. And I was ashamed I did, because the results that appeared were all about how the cost of being a women was very high as the prices at spas and salons were very high. Okay, so the word “women cost” did not exist as per Google. But then again coming back, what is the word that encompasses everything that we have gone through because we are women. Where we have to cook, clean, care for the sick, the old, the young and had to put our career on hold or on slow track. Where we had to leave our parents behind and accept our husband’s parents as ours and not receiving the same in return. Where we had to take up jobs near home and forego bigger opportunities just to be available for any emergency. What is that word for all that we have lost just because we are women, and society simply accepts and expect women to lose for the larger good. So I hope one day, society starts to takes into consideration the “women cost” of its decisions just the way we calculate the human cost.

rajanib@rvu.edu.in

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