The legacy of the Indian Armed Forces is like an inspirational song or poem that comes to our lips in times of trial. Tales of valour often come punctuated with long harrowing hours and deep blue silences —where only the memories of loved ones speak. On Valentine’s Day, we take a moment to translate these pauses and shine a spotlight on the stories of love as shared by couples whose spouses are or have been in the Armed Forces.
Reshma Kadvath and Colonel Satish Kadvath
Reshma Kadvath was 18 when he met 25- year-old Satish Kadvath, who was then a Captain in the Indian Army. “It was one such Valentine’s Day in 1996 when we had our first fight. I was expecting his call the entire day, while he was not able to get through due to his posting in a remote location.”
In those days Satish would travel 13 hours by bus only to be able to spend one hour with Reshma. Satish would write regularly from his station in Jodhpur. The telephone booth owner near his station had told the Colonel in jest that, “The number of cards you write is enough to build the Great Wall of China.”
Like a still from a Bollywood film, when Reshma was 20 and still in college, she married Satish. “We got married secretly in an Arya Samaj Mandir with two of my best friends as witnesses. Later, as everything fell in place, we had a formal wedding ceremony.”
The darkest phase in Reshma and Satish’s life was when the Colonel was posted to Jammu and Kashmir for counter insurgency operations. “Our son, short of his second birthday, was diagnosed with ADHD and I was expecting our second child. Every day there was news of soldiers getting killed in operations, and then there were times when weeks would go by without any communication from his side“ In those moments Reshma felt that love alone was not enough. Instead, love was the foundation on which she had built her life.
The couple celebrated their 25th anniversary in 2022 and Reshma adds “At 52, the Colonel still stays a hopeless romantic at heart, who gifts me red roses without fail on every Valentine’s Day, even if he is out on duty,”
Major Anita Rathore and Major Kislay Rathore
In 2015, when the whole world was communicating on Snapchat and WhatsApp, Kislay was writing letters and sending cards to Anita from remote areas.
Major Anita Rathore and Major Kislay Rathore | Photo Credit: Special Arrangement
While Anita calls herself talkative, childlike and a ‘tomboy’, her husband is the veritable opposite- reserved, mature, and gentle.
Anita was introduced to Kislay by her parents in 2014. “We were posted in the same area when we met. He was in Binnaguri and I was in Bagdogra. The places are so close that some of our family members think ours was a love marriage!”
When I was posted in Bangalore he told me that he had never seen me wearing a saree. “So I went to the airport all decked up, much to the amusement of other passengers. He took a while to realise it was me!“
Anita says that life in the Army does not differentiate between men and women.strict way of life. “When I was raising my first child, I was expecting my second and on duty. Then the pandemic hit. But I sailed through because the most important thing the Army teaches you is that you cannot give up in any situation.”
Throughout their time together the couple has been posted in different locations. Sometimes in states so far apart that the time when Kislay was posted in icy Drass, the only way to communicate was using a satellite phone.
Bharti Jasrotia Pradhan and Squadron Leader Mayuresh Pradhan
February 2018, marked their first Valentine’s Day as a couple but Mayuresh had TD (temporary duty) in Kanpur so he could not make it to Delhi where Bharti was.
Bharti Jasrotia Pradhan and Squadron Leader Mayuresh Pradhan | Photo Credit: Special Arrangement
The following week, at the last minute, Mayuresh‘s two- day leave was granted. “There were no train tickets or flights. I stood in the general compartment of the train from Kanpur to Delhi for 14 hours just to meet her,” says Mayuresh meekly.
Mayuresh met Bharti through common friends in May 2017. Although they werent ‘serious’ initially, their relationship deepened over the years. The couple tied the knot in November 2021. Since Mayuresh is with the Air Force, he is not present for all family celebrations. Mayuresh believes that the ‘soul’ of his relationship with Bharti is the mutual understanding that they share and the fact that they were able to create a space where both could speak without being judged.
“The greatest difficulty is the distance. When we were seeing each other Bharti’s mother had a surgery and I was not able to be there for her. Again, this year on Valentine’s Day I will only be able to meet her in the evening,” says Mayuresh.
Even after flying commencements and distances marriage is ‘fun’ for Mayuresh. He says, “As a bachelor when I would go to new places I would explore them but after marriage when I go to places like Nagpur, I have to get orange barfi for my wife or a kalamkari saree. If I go to Hyderabad I have to get her pearls... so it’s rewarding that way.”
Lieutenant Commander Sadhana Giri and Commander Shubhodeep Bhattacharjee
Lieutenant Commander Sadhana Giri and Commander Shubhodeep Bhattacharjee | Photo Credit: Special Arrangement
Sadhana met Shubhodeep at the Naval Training Academy in 2005. While Shubhodeep is a submariner, Sadhana was an ATC officer (Air Traffic Control in aviation wing of the Navy). Sadhana fell for Shubhodeep’s sensitivity and gentle nature.
“Being a woman, wife of a mariner and serving in the forces myself was quite a challenge. Throughout our relationship, we would have to shift from one State to another which was exhausting. There were times when I had to leave for work, my husband was away sailing and I would have to lock my daughter at home,” says Sadhana.
Initially, when the couple met, they shared a great dynamic. But Sadhana was sceptical. “I come from a conservative family in Uttar Pradesh where marriages are either arranged or held within the community. Marrying Shubhodeep would mean transgressing community, State and cultural lines.”
After several postings and demanding work schedules, both sailed through the odds, stood their ground and broke it to their families that they would get married.
When Subhodeep was posted in Russia, Sadhana had to bring up her daughter in unforgiving climes. But what kept her warm was her love for her husband and values instilled in her in the Navy— neither taught her to give up.
Sadhana retired from the Navy in 2017, while Shubhodeep is still serving. She looks back at their early days of meeting and courtship with fondness and tenderness.
Published - February 14, 2023 10:45 am IST
